The Woman Without A Future

I was mesmerized by the virility of waves that wet my feet as it kissed the shoreline. That was me. Wondering where I’ll end up in few months. I stopped planning since the time fate took over my guts. Back in the city, the lights never fade. My arm is wrapped around mild shopping spree. So what now?  Oh yeah, I was here to continue the explores of my novel.

I want to share some pointers on living the crazy feat of uncertainty. The key is to have Faith. To live in faith means to fear nothing and no one of this world.  That doesn’t mean you’re headed through an easy going carnival ride. You have to understand that there is no place for familiar routes. The first step is to believe that you were made for a noble purpose. Skills are tools. Experience is a training ground. People are your aid, trainers or accidental travelers needing resources. So do not expect permanency in company among them. Second step is to realize that you are only but a body and soul. Critically distinguish necessity and luxury. Expect 50 percent of necessity as sacrificial when circumstances call. Luxury is a temptress throwing out rationality of humanity to complete obsolete.

Don’t trust anyone. No One is responsible to fulfill your needs, happiness or goals. However, you are responsible for the ramifications of your actions. That’s not fair, isn’t it? It’s who you are. It’s who you’ve always been. Life is a purpose. Death is a done deal. It’s a stairway to home. So you can only care so much to prevent physiological physics–time and what the body does in finite space. Soft skin, stamina, sculptured contour..why would that matter? In the long run, all those vibrant cells will decompose and nourish the soil. In the long run, last breath would remind you of the loss. The loss is not of this world but inside you.

Don’t humor me with justifying irrelevance of philosophy to material world. The world cannot be shaped. The world made you believe that. You are only in control of oneself. So be the best at what is entitled of you.

I was asked more than once about what makes me happy. Ridiculously, it takes time to figure out an answer. I thought there’s something wrong with the question. Why does it have to sound like an ultimate-driven pursuit? Why can’t it be one among the regular bright spots of experience?

For 34 years, fate taught me to elevate subconscious..contemplate an absolute reality with conviction. Brain is as complex as that because you’re going to be knocked out a million times. Your armor is what you believe in. My shot is, I am the woman who has no future.

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Abby Mabb

Snarly female. Occasional book reviewer.

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