The Beginning…

So I was told that if a man walks blindly, he feels and listens. Beyond the variant colors and warmth existing now, I believe we have been walking in the dark for so long. It doesn’t matter how much distance we have made, or how much specs of sweat worth of that we have invested..in darkness, we are nowhere but in the same position. But we are close to realization. It could be through hands of our own kind or astrological manifestations.. we will be swept away to restore our souls.

The past few days, people have asked what I want. I knew that they are somehow wishing its not anything liturgical or vaguely philosophical. Specific goals. Personal wants. Predictable and measurable. That’s what I’ve been taught in years of sales training. And I have let it sway me just as my own wings. I let it confuse my unconfused state.

I contemplated on it. Words of a friend steered the beginning–minimalize and focus my energy. I decided to finally leave my apartment and sell my belongings. Such of soon to be a past marks the start of a pursuit.This change no matter how estranged feels comforting.

Packing started selectively loitering away and embellishing memories. That probably took 2 luggages and 3 bags not including sheets, accessories and shoes. The books and memorabilia have to be in boxes. I spent the last few hours harboring messages back and forth for varied reasons– people bargaining, pleading some sort of reservation on stuff they intend to buy.. and oh, reasons why I’m leaving and where I’m going. For clarification, there’s nothing special about this change except people have not figured out yet where to find me. I have interviews who have welcomed my unsettled state of mind that some have to be dismissed and some rescheduled. Trip comes next this weekend. Then, ready to get everything started..according to wants and pursuit. Who knows what’s next? I am just sure it’s nothing like I’ve had before.

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Abby Mabb

Snarly female. Occasional book reviewer.

Espen Stenersrød- From Pen To Heart

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