The Key to Freedom Called Life

I was out out of my apartment for almost a month. Occasionally, for a day or two, I would ransack untamed corners of this room, hearing subconscious whispering of questions I deemed to ignore. Where I’ve been is out of the question, but what I have been relentlessly pursuing.  Today, I went to the same puzzle I care less about solving. For years, I was always in a rush for new things.. for new experience…truth. Not that I abhor stability, predictability, sustainability..among others that most successful industrial pirates parlor to achieve through risk management. I just realized that life is too precious to go to waste.  And life to me is art.. freedom of the things that nurture life in panoramic point of view.

Now let me ask you a question, what’s left of your fuckin’ remaining life? This what I owe my faith– air and space I breathe and to fuck it with ruthlessness, greed, desire, addiction, it means nothing. I have basic needs to fulfill, most of which aren’t free based on society’s measures. Whatever it is the global system had been designed to persist, my understanding is, fate had rearranged to take care of it so I can fulfill my purpose. I don’t know how but I just know it is. Call it a joke or idiotic principle,..Who cares? I don’t give a shit about what you think. We make our own world and mine is full of return-to-the-oz stories to share.

This is what crippled humans for years from finding what we’re really looking for.

GREED- As opposed to what man says, greed is big chunk on your throat that suffocates you no matter how much you gasp for air. The conquest exhausts until you’re old enough to realize you were chasing the wrong cheese. There is always not enough to fill a hungry soul.

VANITY- This is a disease that grows into mutilating cancer. It starts with the phrase, I’m not good enough.. It eats up everything you have..body and soul until you’re all consumed.. That foolish pathetic despair to be wanted, or admired. When all of that are eventually gone, just because it’s how nature works, you’d be asking yourself cloaked by the dark affairs of desires, “where is everybody??”

ANGER- It seems like a good idea at the onset of warmth. The driven feeling of revenge..bittered adoration. That hyperactive blood rush luring you into thinking this world owes you. Don’t you like the sweet power of causing and enduring pain? For one who is ignorant of mechanics of physics– law of attraction,..cause and effect..domino theory.. Everything is confounded to blast back from its source. What comes after the explosion is ultimate coldness and death.

FEAR- Depending on the complexity of the pill, this fear puts you into a coma which is terminable to a certain period of time. Your stability depends on the life support. just enough to keep you alive but not mobile. I was there, fearing my own breath..the light..I thought it was the safest place after savagely injured by humanity’s ways. I have lost faith in people.. in myself. The good news is, there are doctors out there who would unconventionally electrocute your numb system to forcibly walk you out of the stinking bed.

So starting today, my time is solely spent on finishing the book… wander the webs of Blackwidow’s creation. Without all the online marketing maneuvering bullshit, I’m taking all the random souls who have heard this vision to see my world.

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Abby Mabb

Snarly female. Occasional book reviewer.

Espen Stenersrød- From Pen To Heart

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"The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth." Leo Tolstoy

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