Touch And Go Parody

Did you ever had a feeling so great that you just hate it? It’s amazing how human make up can be complex enough to assume different configurations. The way I see it, there’s no normal or twisted classifications. It’s just a unique and mere consequences of DNA, Social and Environmental orientations. The funny thing about writing this is that I don’t want anyone to read it. But then my addiction had, in almost all cases, betrayed my judgement.

Psychologists and all forms of psychotherapy suggest that individual rationality can be assumed from previous human experiences. History is always unique in character, especially if we’re talking about human lives. So, if I discuss my sentiments here.. the logic as far as I’m-not-deserving-to-be-happy is all bullshit. I don’t handle happy moments or feelings good only because, being an extremist pessimist, I always expected the most probable. The regularity among humans, even with claims of love being associated to it, is that it’s always forgotten and disregarded through time. And since change is inevitable, I don’t feel comfortably about relying on momentary feelings. Don’t get me wrong. I savor every moment. In fact, I’m good at it.  I just have that clinging subconscious of letting it go, moving forward.

So why am I saying this? For obvious reason, I am in fact happy right now. And I fear the feeling when it prolongs through time. I am kind of the get-to-the-point person who sees the end result than the voyage. Such a contradicting philosophy I’d say. Now how do I deal with it? From time to time, I manage to spend a short period of contemplation or isolation, weighing probabilities. I cry over the pain before it actually comes. Everything that comes is just as expected and not a surprise at all.

Although I have deep sense of defining socially termed “love,” (which often comes through fate as I’ve perceived it), the Blackwidow demands me to not choose it. Am I a burdened tragic-driven soul? I am not. It’s my form of stability. Do I feel bad about it? Sometimes. I yearned for it but don’t see the need. I wouldn’t recommend it though.

This may come as a confusion to all of those who have explored the oddity of my nature, I cannot but only express (not my sorry ass) my share of human relationship..realize its value. I am a product of nature’s share of pain and gain.

In this light, a collection of my theory is in progress.

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Abby Mabb

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