Letter of the Blackwidow

I want to remember this day and never look back. But before I declare admittance to what we have become Woman, I would love to commend the greatest influencer of my becoming. You see, I am a contradiction of everything. And no matter how I try to become known..to become human..no one can still recognize me. It sucks. It does. But at some point, I feel safe from my own darkness. This darkness conquered my soul.. cold as the pain that made me who I am.

Through time, woman had struggled to achieve perfection. The only flaw is that she sees it the way man wants to see it. And so she fails everytime. But who would blame the unknown human complex they call love. It asks you to please.. to understand.. to forgive.. to give more than you can. Until her consummation leads to complete blindness, then insanity. Her blood flows freely of absolute dependence. Her existence comes with only one purpose– to be with him.. or to serve him. She surrenders to that commitment, ignoring her worth greater than what he’s always been. I’ve seen her live in my childhood and now, numb by her tears played like a sucker old movie. I see her everywhere..the soul sitting close to my desk at work, a neighbor who pleads for merciful ending, that woman standing in the parking lot bartending her exhausted vagina. Why do you get naked from false hopes, unprotected?

From the wicked history that stings, another woman was reborn. She abandons the passion and runs among men with fierce. This is our future threatening the world that used to be damp and soft. She only recognizes power and utilizes them through secrets of betrayal. The tower between her legs is more than just a temple but an instrument.. with no regards to justice nor taking responsibility. She hides in weaknesses a man has known, embracing them with pretentions. She consumes every soul that comes her way. I despise her, just as I despise the attributes of men.

But who am I if I do not live among them. I cannot be known. I can only give pieces of me. This man tries to unscramble those pieces, only to realize that he had broken himself from that chase. One thing he missed though is that I was close to that blinding light, I had to shut my eyes and just feel it. When I saw darkness, I realized that my fate was prewritten right before this dream came to steal my conscious self. I’m warning you to not dare understand my words. I am more than the woman who should reach you by the hand. A lunatic.. or a monster I have been among your kind, I had sworn my heart to those who lived the tragedies of the world I was once a witness of.

My fate came to asked me once, the question bothering me for years.. The woman said, if he comes, would you break the walls apart or live what you were destined to be. I cannot turn to Blackwidow for the answers. But I am close to knowing…

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  1. toogoodtoobebitch

     /  May 24, 2012


  2. Thanks for all your efforts that you have put in this. Very interesting info. “Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.” by Elsa Maxwell.

  3. Keep functioning ,great job!

  4. A Beautiful story and thought you share. I am partial to Dionysian Art and stories as I myself have endured a great many Heart aches, as well as a very dark mark on my soul.It is interesting your tale and the similarities of mine. I feel you and will say that as I journey into the light the walls tumble and my depth and growth is one that I cherish as with you my own Prince of Darkness holds not the answer and the answer although close is not yet apparent, however it is felt. Your writing is very touching and very heart felt. I wish you great Love at the end of the day when your answer is found.Love is both dark and light and all adds to the color of our beings and souls….Thank you for sharing such a well written and thoughtful piece of your soul! It is nice in a way to know that a Lady may feel as a man in her own way and a man as a woman in his.


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Abby Mabb

Snarly female. Occasional book reviewer.

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